Fall
by Scepidilionz
Summary: After the battle of Trost, Rico decides that she would be able to help humanity more if she transferred to the scouts. Upon losing so, and throwing away her dreams, she loses her fiance, and only Erwin is there to help her pick up the pieces and build a new life. Of course, Hanji simply has to get involved, dragging Levi along with her.
1. Pain

**Fall**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter One:**

 **Pain**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

Rico stood at attention in front of the desk of Commander Pixis. Cuts and bruises are all over her body, her leg ached from holding this position for so long. Her glasses had rubbed the bridge of her nose raw due to the constant shifting during combat. But she knew why she was here. She was just waiting for the chance to say no. So she could go to her room and cry, and lament the decisions she had made, just before she entered the room. Decisions so rash and impulsive that she would have swept the floor with any of her subordinates that made the same decision. Her squad was gone. She didn't have anyone to represent anymore.

"You did very well in Trost, Brzenska." Pixis smiled, taking a small sip from his flask, before passing it to her.

"No thank you." She waved her hand politely, "I don't drink before dinner."

Pixis smiled, putting the flask back in his jacket. He leaned back in his chair, almost like he was going to fall asleep, "I'm sure you know why you're here."

"Yes sir." She didn't look at him, she just kept her gaze out the window, watching a pair of doves on the rooftop across from them. How blissfully unaware they were. They didn't even know about the dozens of lives that just departed from this world. And yet, they were so free. They didn't even have to fight for it. So why did they stay here of all places? Of all the world, why stay here in this hellhole? Stupid birds.

"I would like you to command the entire first division." Pixis said. It was was a huge jump, from a squad in the division, to the entire group. He saw the look of shock register on her face, "Ah, so you didn't know why you were here."

She closed her eyes, pained by what she was about to do. Her dreams were coming true, and she was throwing them away. Because some brat had opened her eyes. A kid half her age had more guts than she did. She gave the most heart felt salute she had ever done, "I, Rico Brzenska, have come to offer my resignation."

"Oh?" Pixis picked up the file that she had placed on his desk when she walked in. He had thought nothing of it at the time, thinking it was just her mission report. "What will you be doing?"

She felt her hands start to shake, "I have a meeting with Darius Zackly this evening… Originally regarding this promotion… However… I'm sure that he can push the proper paperwork." She couldn't believe that she was doing this. In her mind, she knew that this was so stupid, so immature, so juvenile… So why was she here?

Pixis laughed, sensing her fear. There was no way she was afraid of titans, right? Unless she was developing some feelings after Trost. "And if I choose to deny your resignation?" He wanted to test her resolve. He wasn't going to just hand her over to be titan fodder. She was a good soldier.

"Darius Zackly will override it." She said, glaring at him, knowing exactly what he was trying to do. "Please do not try and stop me, Commander, my mind is set."

Pixis nodded, getting up to shake her hand, "I wish you the best of luck, Brzenska. Don't die out there. You're a pillar of humanity's strength."

"Thank you sir." With that, she headed out on her way. Step one was complete.

* * *

"I see…" Zackly said over the glass of wine and penne on his side of the table, looking over a copy of Rico's letter of resignation. "I was unaware that you were such an affluent writer." He was far more amazed at how it was written than the actual content. "You should consider writing legislation. Perhaps it would bring some art to our laws." He set the file down, folding his hands on top of the table. "You are sure about this?"

"Yes sir, I am." She spun her glass of wine, taking a gentle sniff of it. After a moment she set it down and sighed, looking up at him. "After seeing that battlefield… Seeing how quickly the battle was turned after the scouts arrived… I believe that I would be better suited there. We would have lost fewer lives if we all had the training and the work ethic of the scout regiment."

"None the less, you are scared. You have hardly touched your food. Eat, Rico." He smiled, watching her pick up the fork to do as told, "You'll have some time off to recuperate." He could tell by the way that she was holding the fork and bringing it to her mouth that her arm was in great pain as well. He had even noticed a slight limp earlier, "How did you get your injuries? Why are you not taking any painkillers?" He hated seeing soldiers this beaten up.

"Debris from the titans. I was momentarily trapped underneath them." She had gotten out of them quickly, but she had had difficulty fighting from that moment on. "We are having a medicine shortage due to the number of injuries. They've even stopped giving painkillers to those on their deathbeds, to save it for those who might live… I can go on without them. There are people who need it more."

Such a sense of duty. "Very well. Though the wine will help." He took a sip of his own, letting it mellow on his tongue. "Wine is like fine writing, like yours. It tells a story. Where it is from, how old it is, even who grew it." He reached into his briefcase, pulling out Brzenska's personnel file. He placed a new page in it, and began to write. Rico watched him carefully, doing her best to try and eat. Though every time she tried to move she felt like she was going to vomit from the pain.

She had been sitting here so long, the meeting had run on for hours. The staff of the restaurant were giving them dirty looks, and it made her terribly uncomfortable. "Um… Sir. If I may say, it's a Friday night, I'm sure the restaurant staff would like to get home to their families."

Zackly took out his pocket watch, "Ah would you look at that. It's almost two in the morning." He finished writing, handing her file. "Deliver this to Erwin Smith's residence immediately. He should be there rather than the barracks on the weekend."

"Immediately, sir?" She asked, getting up, "Like you said, it's the weekend, goodness knows what he's up to…" She blushed thinking about it, which showed up on her face as clear as day, given her pale features and complexion. "That's not a good way to start my relationship with a new superior."

"Well then pray he's behaving himself." He took another sip of the wine before getting up and shaking her hand, "He's very straight laced, I doubt he's up to that sort of thing."

 _He's a man, of course he's up to that sort of thing._ She thought, but shook the Commander-in-Chief's hand with a smile, "Thank you again, sir. I appreciate this."

"It's no problem, Brzenska. All I had to do was write a little note, for the pleasure of your company and your wonderful penmanship." He headed up, leaving her with an even larger blush. She definitely reminded him of Erwin. Except she might even follow the book more strictly. Not to mention their eyebrows.

Rico sighed, clutching the file to her chest as she walked towards Erwin's house. It wasn't far from here, and she had been there before, they used to play chess on Sundays. Of course, he creamed her every time, but she expected that. Although they did have the most enthralling conversations. But one day… He just cancelled and said that they couldn't do that anymore. She had lost a great friend over night, and just never knew why.

She got to his door and her hand hesitated as she went to knock. She could see through the window that there was a candle lit, so someone was still awake. Perhaps he was catching up on some reading. She sighed, and knocked gently. When there was no response, she knocked a little harder, and heard rustling from inside.

"Levi, this better be important." He said as he answered the door, though the person on the other side was clearly a little short than Levi. "Ah, Brzenska… What are you doing here so late?" He was obviously very confused, and almost completely naked. He fixed his robe nervously, having not been expecting any guests. "Ah...Come in. It's cold outside." He let her through the door, still confused.

She couldn't help but wonder what the Captain would be doing here at two in the morning as well, but they were best friends. Perhaps Levi liked to talk after battles about what he had witnessed. She did that too, only she wrote it down in a journal. "I have new orders." She passed him the file, which he took carefully and open it. "Darius Zackly is transferring me to the scout regiment." She had asked him not to put anything in the letter about it being her request. She wanted to keep that bit a secret. She heard more rustling and a woman stepped out of Erwin's bedroom, leaning on the doorframe. Rico didn't recognise her, so she supposed the woman was a civilian.

"Erwin, who's this?" The woman asked, coming over to look at the file, though Erwin pulled it away, "Classified, huh?" She folded her arms across her chest. "It better be important. It's two in the morning." She glared at Rico, who glared back.

"It is, Stephanie." He sat down to read her file over. "Weren't you up for promotion? Darius even asked me for my recommendation."

"I turned it down." She admitted, sitting across from him at the chess table. It felt so familiar. Of course, normally they would have been alone, not with Erwin's new overprotective girlfriend glaring at them. _Don't worry, he's going to dump you too. He doesn't settle down, has he told you that yet?_

"Hm." Was all Erwin said. Most of the information in the file wasn't new. After all, they used to talk about all these things during their chess matches. "How's Zach?"

"Well. He's in the infirmary with injuries." She was surprised that Erwin knew her fiance's name, she didn't talk about him much at work. She tried to keep those two sides of her separate. Of course, Zach was in the garrison too. Though he didn't know about her decision yet, though she knew that he would support it. "The doctors say he's going to be fine. How's your back?"

"Still functioning, surprisingly." It was a common 3DMG injury to throw out one's back due to the sudden accelerations and stops. Whiplash as also fairly common. "You're injured though." He looked up from the file to her, it was hard to see in the light of a single candle, so he reached over to feel her face, and she winced, "Sorry. That must have hurt." This whole exchange was obviously making his temporary fling uncomfortable, so she just scoffed and headed back to bed. "Sorry… You kind of came at a bad time." He whispered.

She rubbed her own cheek, "I can tell. How long have you been with this one?"

"A month." He sighed, getting back to the file. "Everything here looks good, as expected. Levi and I will bring by your uniform Monday, to make sure it fits properly. You have a week's leave to get better." He stood up, and Rico gave her third handshake of the day, "Try not to die, Rico."

She smiled, heading for the door. This place dredged up so many old memories. "You too, Smith."

* * *

"Trent, I cannot watch the kids today." Rico said as five rugrats darted all over her apartment. "The Commander of the scout regiment will be over today to give me my new uniform." She argued, but she knew it would be in vain. Her brother and his wife bred like rabbits, and turns out, she was pregnant again! So they had to go to the doctor, "Can't you reschedule the appointment?"

"Sorry sis, I know they're crazy but… This is really important. I'm sure they'll shut up when your boss comes over. They want to meet Zach too, he's coming home today, right?" He had only met his sister's fiance once, they were both constantly busy with work. Though Trent was a civilian. He smiled at his kids, they all at the same white hair, there was a very strong family resemblance.

In the end, Rico ended up burdened with the little hellions completely destroying everything she owned. This was the problem with having too many kids, you couldn't discipline them all enough. To think that she thought she was going to be getting some alone time with Zach… There went that idea. She fiddled with the ring on her finger as she sat down, she still wasn't used to it being there. However she was used to her nieces and nephews slamming her with questions about the titans.

However when they heard the knock on the door, they all jumped up screaming for Uncle Zach. Auntie Rico was so awesome, that in their mind, of course she would be marrying someone awesome! And then they would have awesome cousins on the way!

Rico's eyes lit up as she headed to the door, "I'm so happy you're-" She froze, seeing two of her comrades on the door, holding Zach's uniform. They looked devastated. "This is a joke. Please tell me this is one of his pranks." Everyone knew that Zach was a prankster. He made her laugh so much, that was part of the reason that she fell in love with him, "Frank? Rodger?" She asked her comrades, and they shook their heads.

Frank placed the uniform in her arms, "He died this morning… Very suddenly. He went into cardiac arrest. We don't know what caused it… Rico…"

She had just seen him last night! He had been laughing, smiling, making all of his same old jokes… He promised her that he would be back today! She fell to her knees, hugging the uniform as tightly as she cold, and sat there completely frozen. "Thank you." She whispered softly, fingernails digging into the skin of her own arms, the pain bringing her back to life, "I know how hard making these house calls is." Pain.

Rodger knelt down in front of her, "You're right. It is hard. But it's not as hard as what you're going through right now. He loved you, Rico." Pain.

"I know. I loved him too." Pain.

"Rico-" Pain.

"Please leave." She stood up, regaining her composure. But there was no life in her eyes. She was empty. "I have a meeting with Commander Smith today." Pain. Pain was all she felt. Pain she inflicted on herself was the only thing keeping her from collapsing from the pain in her heart. She stood up, turning around and shutting the door on her former comrades. The kids all looked up at her, expecting to see their uncle, "That wasn't him. He won't be home today." She went into her room, and set Zach's uniform on top of her dresser, next to a picture that she had of them celebrating her birthday. He had rented a lodge at the top of a mountain in wall Rose, they had spent the week there, enjoying nature, dreaming of what the humans of the old world used to be able to see everyday.

It was different losing someone to the titans. There was that sense of hopelessness that came along with it. You could always justify their deaths. Talk about how their loss benefitted humanity. How there was nothing that could have been done.

Losing someone within the walls was so different. You had to ask why. What did they die for? Why… Why... Why?

"Auntie Rico." One of the kids chimed up, "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine." She forced a smile for the kids, picking up the little one, "Let's go play for a little bit more. Your parents will be back in a couple of hours."

The kids had all fallen asleep after the sun went down. They always tired each other out like this.

Rico sat on her couch, staring at the ring on her finger. It was just a silver little band with a small diamond embedded in the middle. It meant so much to her. Zach had saved for it for months. Getting a wedding ring was very hard on a soldier's salary, let alone one with a diamond. But now she cursed it, blaming it for the pain it was causing her. As if the ring had killed Zach. She slid it off, putting it on the end table as she started to gently cry. Tears didn't roll down her cheeks, but she still sobbed. Her throat burned with the threat of tears as well, but they never came. Why. Why couldn't she even cry?

She got up when she heard the knock on the door, and answered, not even meeting the eyes of the men on the other side, "Please be quiet, the kids are sleeping."

Erwin raised a brow at the mention of kids, and stepped in with Levi, being sure to wipe their feet on the welcome mat. Levi saw all the white haired little brats, "I never knew you had kids."

"I don't, they're my brother's." She watched as Erwin picked up her engagement ring off of the nightstand, "He's dead."

"Rico, I'm so sorry… When did it happen?" He set it back down, looking at the woman. Her eyes were completely bloodshot. He went to hug her, but she pushed him away, "Sorry." He got out her uniform, passing it to her. She just took it and set it on the table.

"My measurements haven't changed, it fits." She couldn't even bring herself to look at them, "I'm sorry, but the kids might wake up-"

"Uncle Zach!" The oldest, who was nine, yelled, and tackled Erwin. She had a huge smile on her face, "I knew it! You're just like a prince! Auntie Rico said you wouldn't be home today!"

The other kids all woke up and swarmed Erwin like moths to a flame. Rico threw him a look that screamed 'You better play along and not break their precious little hearts.' Levi couldn't help but chuckle. This was comedy gold. Of course, it was comedy gold until the older brats recognised him, and began to swarm him too. "It's Captain Levi! He's a hero!"

Rico gave a faint smile seeing how happy all of the little ones were.

She was smiling until they started to chant "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"YOU HAVE TO KISS THE PRINCE." Yelled the oldest one, who was devastated that they hadn't yet. It was true love! So they had to kiss!

"Oooooo!" The other kids started to chant as well, and whatever colour was in Rico's face completely drained. She looked to Erwin completely mortified, and he looked equally disturbed. He couldn't possibly kiss a woman the day that her fiance died!

Levi sighed and was about to argue with the kids as to why the princess should not kiss the prince (which were words that made him vomit in his mouth) When Rico sucked it up, grabbed Erwin's face and planted one on him. She practically had to pull him down because of how short she was, the height contrast was staggering. "Oh." Levi said, just dropping his sentence. "Well."

Rico stopped, letting go of Erwin rather brusquely. "Done. A prince and princess." She forced another smile, "One day Zach and I are going to get married, and we'll live happily ever after in a castle on top of the mountains. And you can come whenever you want to come play with your cousins." These words felt evil in her mouth, and saying them made her want to curl into a ball and cry.

The kids all laughed and started to play again. Rico looked up at Erwin, "Sorry… I don't want to crush any of their dreams." She was being sure to keep her voice down. Sooner or later she would have to tell them the truth. But she couldn't yet. It just didn't feel right. None of this felt right. "Tell Stephanie I'm sorry too."

"She broke up with me yesterday, actually. Called me a heretic." He sighed, looking at Rico, her gaze was so empty, "Turns out she was a member of the wall church and I never knew."

"Shows how much you know about women, Erwin." Levi scoffed. He didn't know Rico well enough to know what would make her happy again, or even smile for real, but he knew for him talking got his mind off of things. "Speaking of which Zach, I have to get going. My squad has a meeting." Truth be told, he had a date, but he wasn't going to say that in front of Rico right now.

"Goodbye Knight Levi!" The kids said, overhearing this. "Make sure to always protect the prince and the princess!"

Levi bowed with a smile to the kids, who cheered. Who would have ever known he was so good with them? Given that they were all messy, disease ridden, loud brats. Well, at least in his world they were. "Goodnight, Levi." Erwin said, patting him on the back, and Levi headed out.

It wasn't long after that that Rico's brother and sister-in-law turned up to pick up the kids. They would have questioned why Zach wasn't there had they not seen his uniform folded on top of her dresser. The kids calling Commander Smith 'Zach' only made it more obvious. And the ring on the table. It was clear that Rico was grieving, but she had her own special way of doing everything. When she was ready to talk, she would.

Rico relaxed as soon as the kids were gone, and set her mind on doing dishes. Erwin helped her clean up all the messes that the kids hand made, even though she asked him not to, and that he was a guest. "Erwin." She said, standing over him with a rag. "If you're going to clean against my wishes, please do it correctly." She threw the rag down at his hands, and he picked it up, watching her head off again.

He didn't blame her for being so snappy. She had just lost someone who meant the world to her. It only made sense that she would act out in some way. "Yes ma'am."

"For fuck's sake, you're my boss Erwin! Don't listen to my orders!"

"I'm technically not your boss for another week." He started to clean with the rag as she instructed. He wasn't Levi, Levi did all the cleaning.

"Oh well, in that case, fuck you." She pouted, getting water from the sink everywhere. "You and your… everything." She was completely soaked, "Fuck." Her sink was spewing water everywhere. The pipes in this place were always doing weird things like this. Zach had always fixed them when they acted up.

Erwin sighed, getting up to go help her, but she stopped him, "You're not Zach." She said as she crawled under the sink to fix it herself.

"I'm not Zach. But I'm here to help you." He knelt beside her, watching her work, she was doing it wrong. "Rico let me-"

"No!" She yelled, and as she did she went to turn around to face him, and she hit her head on the cabinet. "Scheisse…" She cursed, holding her head.

"What?" He asked, looking over her head, then it decided it wasn't important.

She sighed, letting him look her over. Tears were welling up in her eyes again from the pain, "He's really gone, Erwin, what do I do?"

"You grieve and you move on." He sighed, "It's just a little bump. It'll be sore for a bit." He took her place in fixing the plumbing, and she let him. He heard her start to cry, feeling awful. After he managed to fix the pipe, he went to help her up from the floor. But it was soaking wet, and tile, so they both ended up slipping and crashing to the ground.

Erwin spun so that she wouldn't hit the tile first, and she landed on top of him, startled. "You okay?" He asked, concerned. Her cheeks were extremely red, and she was glaring again. "Did you get hurt again?"

"I'm short, not a child, Erwin." But there were still tears in her eyes. "Erwin… I…" Tears were dripping onto him from where she was above him.

"Shh…" He reached up to stroke the tears out of his eyes, and pulled her into a hug, "Everything is going to be alright, even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. " The cold from the water on the floor started to make them both shiver, but he held her, letting her cry her eyes out onto him. And he didn't move, and just laid there on that slippery kitchen floor.


	2. Par-tea!

**Thank you to everyone who read the last chapter!**

 **This pairing does not nearly get enough love.**

 **I couldn't even find a picture of Rico and Erwin to use as a cover image**

 **Well, one that wasn't porn of course… There were plenty of those.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter Two:**

 **Par-tea!**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

Rico awoke in Erwin's arms and snuggled into his and the blankets. Her brow furrowed when she realised what she was doing, and she sat up in shock, clutching the blanket to her. "E-Erwin?!" Her face felt like it was on fire. She didn't remember anything! Had they gotten drunk? The last thing she remembered was- Oh. Yeah. She had broken out that bottle of scotch.

"Rico? Everything alright?" He sat up as well, squinting in the sunlight. He was definitely hungover. "Do you have a fever?" He placed his lips on her forehead to check her temperature, this was far more accurate than using one's hand, "Your face is bright red."

"Shhh…." She put her hands over her ears, "You're being way too loud… Do you remember anything? Did we…? Oh god…" She sighed, plopping back down onto the pillow, "I'm an awful person. Zach must hate me right now."

"No, you're a human." He did the same, looking at her, "Who was intoxicated." As was he, he didn't remember a single thing. Though… He did remember why he asked her to stop coming over to play chess. It was happening again. "We don't have to do it again, Rico, it was a mistake." She was quite shaken about it.

"No… It wasn't a mistake." She turned to face him, squinting as the sun was now shining in her eyes. "It would have happened eventually. Now we just have to vow never to do it again."

"Shame. We'll never remember how good it was." He smiled, knowing his jokes would cheer her up. They always did.

"Erwin!" She shoved a pillow in his face, though she did smile. "Zach… Would have liked you." She put her head on his chest, listening to his heart beat.

"Hm." He very much doubted that. Men knew when other men had eyes for their woman. He wasn't going to tell her that, though. Instead he just wrapped his arms around her, keeping her warm. "Just rest, okay? You're still injured."

"You too." She felt like she had betrayed Zach. But… This was what she needed to get her mind off of things. She looked up at his face, his eyes were closed. He seemed so peaceful. "Hey Erwin?"

"Yes?"

"Are you and Levi sleeping together?" She had always wondered this. They just seemed so close. They were always standing beside each other, and seemed to be able to read eachother's minds.

He opened his eyes to look at her, raising one of those gigantic eyebrows, "What makes you ask?"

"The way he looks at you. And vice versa." She pulled the blankets up further, to wrap them in like a burrito. Burritos. She could go for a burrito right about now. She hadn't eaten since yesterday morning.

He shook his head, "I try not to make it a habit of sleeping with my subordinates." What was she doing? Building a cocoon? He used to love doing that as a kid.

"So you have?"

"Haven't you?"

"No actually. Only with my superiors. It's easier to manipulate them that way." She tapped the tip of his nose, playing around.

"Really?" He rolled her over, lips lingering just above hers, "You can't manipulate me if I can't remember."

She chortled, "Wow, Erwin. Not even taking me out to breakfast first." She rolled out from underneath him, getting some clothes on. Her eyes fell on Zach's uniform, and she picked it up and slid it into one of his drawers. "How do you think he would feel about this?"

"To be honest?" He got dressed as well, fixing his bolo tie and hair, "Happy that you're not mourning by screaming, inflicting self harm, or spending days drowning in your own tears and liquor." He was willing to be her rebound, she needed it. Eventually she would come to her senses, and realise that they weren't meant to be.

"On the day of his death?" She turned to face him, leaning back on the dresser, "It hasn't even been twentyfour hours."

He sighed, she really felt guilty over this. He didn't blame her, he would too, "Stuff happens." Wait… Earlier she said it would have happened eventually? Even if Zach was still alive? No… She loved him. She would never do that. He went out and got her engagement ring, and slipped it back on her finger. "But… I don't think you should be taking this off quite yet. Not until after the funeral."

She nodded, looking at it longingly. What she wouldn't do to have him back here right now. "There's extra toothbrushes in the guest bathroom, in the cabinet." She patted his chest, looking up at him, "Your breath reeks of liquor."

"Yours too, but I was trying to be polite." He said as she left, before furrowing his eyebrows and huffing into his hands to check if she was right.

* * *

They ended up walking around the town. Rico was quieter than usual, though she was grateful for the company. Had she been left alone she probably would have been crying until her eyes were raw. She hated crying. No matter what the situation was, she hated shedding tears. It made her feel weak and vulnerable, two things that she definitely wasn't.

"We used to do this a lot." Erwin said. It was obviously that she was dwelling in her thoughts. What a dark and lonely place. He just wanted her to feel better. Sure it would take time, she had lost her fiance… But He wanted her to smile just once. Why did he feel so responsible for her?

"We did." She stopped, freezing in her tracks. She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts before turning to look at him, "What happened, Erwin? Why? I've wondered that for all these years… Why? We were friends, Erwin. At least… I thought we were."

He nodded, feeling guilty. She would never be able to understand why he did it, even if he told her. "The same reason that I'm here with you right now." He cared. Too much.

He cared so much that he didn't want to see her hurt. He cared so much that he buried his feelings when when he watched her fall in love with another man. He loved her so much that he didn't want her to be heartbroken when he came back wrapped in a sheet from an expedition. Except… Now she would be apart of those expeditions… Wouldn't she? Yes. "Rico, I don't want to talk about it." He sighed, meeting her steely grey eyes that were usually so dead and lifeless, reflecting the things that she had witnessed in her life. When she was with him… She was alive. When she was with Zach. Not him. Not Erwin Smith.

She nodded, leaning on him briefly, "Erwin, I want to be friends again."

He was tempted to push her away. He was tempted to warn her about the dangers of getting close to him. He wasn't human anymore, he had abandoned that title long ago. But he didn't. He wrapped an around around her shoulders, staring at her tired face, "I would like that too." He couldn't even bring himself to smile back at her.

Levi and Hanji watched from the background, dressed in civilian clothes. Levi was dressed in a black suit, with a jacket that was slightly too large for him, and Hanji was wearing long khaki pants and a blue button up. "Did you see that?" Levi looked up at his partner in crime, baffled by what he was seeing.

She nodded, happy that Erwin hadn't noticed them. Sometimes it paid to dress up for a day! She was even wearing her hair down. Come to think of it, she didn't look anything like her usual self. Levi had that effect on her. "He's making a move on her…? Didn't you say her fiance just died yesterday?"

"Yes, but that's not the point." Wow Erwin, taking advantage of an emotionally raw young woman. That was low. Though perhaps he shouldn't judge, they couldn't tell what was going on from this distance. Perhaps he was just trying to comfort her. "He's making on a move on a woman that he actually gives a shit about."

"Oh my god." Hanji said, gasping. "You're right. It's the end of the world!"

"Shh, bird brains!" Levi scolded, immediately regretting his decision to reflexively call her 'bird brains'. "I've been dealing with Yeager too much." He was hoping he would rub off on the teen, maybe straighten him out a bit, but it was looking like it was the other way around.

Hanji laughed, "I want… to follow them."

"Are you crazy? Erwin will kill us if he finds out." Erwin was possibly the one person on the earth that scared the shit out of him. Whenever he felt constipated, he just thought of the man angry, it always worked. Though he would never tell _anyone_ that. Thinking of the commander while on the toilet was weird enough. "Rico's a crazy broad too."

"Wow. I would hate to know what you say behind my back." She said as she pulled him out of the alley. Erwin and Rico had turned a corner, probably heading towards Levi's favourite tea shop. That was the only thing notable in this area. In fact, she and Levi had been heading there as well.

Levi froze, before deciding to give the women what she wanted to hear, "'Oh my goddess Hanji, the very visage of perfection and the skies above. May she carry us on her wings to a great new world.'" His tone dripped with sarcasm, though it still made her blush, "And if anyone dares even look at her in a way that displeases her humble servant, I will castrate them with a rusty spoon." That part he was serious about.

"Oh Levi, you're so romantic.~" She purred, taking his hand and leading him towards the tea shop, "Let's surprise them! It'll be a double date."

Levi was barely able to hide the blush that lit up on cheeks. Erwin wasn't supposed to know about them! Even if he already did, he certainly wasn't going to say anything about it. It was against so many rules, rules he didn't personally care for. Mostly because he was crazy for the crazy scientist. "Just don't say anything embarrassing, glasses."

"Like how I caught you singing 'Pretty boy swag' in the shower this morning?"

"Yes, exactly like that." No one could ever know.

* * *

Erwin and Rico nestled on opposite sides of a table, sipping at tea. Rico had gotten a peppermint black tea blend, and Erwin simply got an English breakfast tea. He watched as she stared into the bottom of the cup, the smell of the mint was waking her up. Peppermint suited her.

Erwin looked up as a hand was placed on his shoulder, by none other than Levi. "Oi." He said as he sat down beside him, and Hanji next to Rico. The shopkeeper brought them their usuals, Chocolate black tea for Hanji, and Earl grey for Levi. This piqued Erwin's interest, they must come here together often for the shopkeeper to bring it to them so quickly. "Thanks Bard." Levi said, waving to the man.

Rico looked up at the new arrivals, "Oh, good morning." She said, taking a sip of her tea, enjoying the feeling of the mint trickling down her throat, feeling both warm and cold at the same time.

Hanji smiled at her, "Good choice." She passed her the chocolate tea, encouraging her to take a sip, which she did, "Levi and I come here almost every day, we've had everything on the menu. But this one is my favourite." Sometimes, when they couldn't make it together, one of them would pick it up and deliver it to the other. Other times, Levi would make it for her. She had tried to make tea herself a few times, though it always turned out awfully. Either it was too watered down, or extremely bitter. Levi was insistent that one should never add sugar to tea, otherwise they would be taking away from the quality of the leaves. He would know, given that he collected tea leaves.

"I didn't know you two were so close." Rico said, sipping at her tea again, looking to Erwin to see if he had a clue as to what they were doing her. Given his expression, he was as clueless as she was. "I take it no one knew…"

Hanji smiled, nodding, "Yup! Levi likes to keep secrets. But this one is outta the bag, because I don't like secrets." She leaned onto the table, looking at her commander. "Unlike this one who has way too many secrets."

Erwin nodded, leaning back into his seat and folding his arms. Levi knew this as his defensive position. "Secrets keep us alive."

"Or they can kill us." Levi said, looking to his friend, "I'm sure you can think of a few instances where secrets turned out fatal."

"Of course I can." He reached over under the table and pinched Levi's thigh, trying to tell him not to talk about death in front of Rico. Levi didn't even flinch, and even put on his best fake smile.

"Oh please don't do that, it's creepy." Rico said as she finished her tea. "I'd sooner watch a titan pole dance than you smiling." This earned a laugh from Hanji, "Or telling jokes for that matter."

"I tell a lot of jokes." Levi said, looking to his bespectacled companion. "They're just usually in the moment." He smirked at Rico, "But I suppose you could say that traditional one liners are not my cup of tea." And with that, he took a sip of his earl grey. "My puns are quali-tea."

Hanji smiled, high fiving Levi. "Don't question Levi and tea. You might just find yourself _in hot water."_

"Oh my god yes." Levi said, actually smiling. "Guil-tea as charged." He looked at Hanji, stars in his eyes. That was so hot. She made a tea pun.

Rico looked to her cup, picking it up and turning it upside down, "My teacup is emp-tea." The two seemed to be having a lot of fun, she might as well join.

Erwin noticed that Levi seemed to be enjoying this way too much. He actually looked extremely happy. It was unnerving. "In reali-tea, Levi is married to tea."

"Is it getting hot in here?" Levi said, fanning himself, "Or is it just tea?"

"No, it's not just you. I would venture as far as to say that it's getting steamy." Hanji said, purring at him. "You're such a hot-tea."

Erwin threw his arms between them, "It's getting a little too flir-tea in here!"

Rico poked at Erwin with her foot from under the table, "Oh come on, it's just some LEVI-tea!"

Levi's jaw dropped, and all humor faded from his expression. It all made sense. "You…" He looked at her, completely amazed, "That…" he was speechless. The universe just collided in a single sentence. The other's noticed too. They were all staring at Rico as if she were a goddess. As if the cosmos had arranged themselves in such a way so that she, in this moment, could make not only a tea pun… But one pertaining to the God Of Tea himself.

Because the only thing Levi could laugh this much about… was tea!


	3. The Scout Regiment

**Chapter Three:**

 **The Scout Regiment**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 _Dear Diary,_

 _I start working with the scouts today. I've packed up all of my belongings from the Garrison Regiment Barracks today, and I'll be moving in with the scouts this afternoon. I'm terribly excited, but to be honest, I'm also scared out of my mind. I've never been outside of the walls, and I can't wait to see what it's like out there, but I'm also terrified. What if there's nothing out there? Well, other than trees of course. What if humanity finally breaks free, only to find that we were better off here in the first place? While I really strongly doubt that the outside world could possibly be worse than this hellhole, It's still a possibility I should keep in mind. According to Erwin, there is much humanity needs to relearn about what it's like out there. He says that there are giant lakes filled with salt that could never run out, guarded by millions of grains of sand. He says there are mountains that spew fire, and lands where the ice never thaws! I want to believe him, but even he hasn't seen these wonders. So how can we know they are true? Are these lands like god? No one has seen god, just like no one has seen these lands, so are they a part of god? Where we believe them to be tangible, to exist, but we'll never really know for sure? It's forbidden to talk of these things, to talk about our own world, but yet we're allowed to discuss the god that made the walls, who is in the next world? It doesn't make very much sense to me, but maybe, if I can live long enough, I can see these wonders that Erwin dreams of. I want to see them._

 _Thinking of these things keeps my mind off of my own feelings. Mostly the feeling of rushing towards my inevitable death, but also of Zach. I can't think of him. I've packed away all of our pictures, his clothes, his toothbrush… But I still wear the ring he proposed to me with. His funeral was two days ago. I couldn't bring myself to cry. His mother treated me like I was some sort of freak, but that's okay, everyone grieves in their own way. A month ago, she treated me like I was a blessing from the heavens… But now? I don't think I'll ever speak to her again… Not for my sake, but for hers. It's best she forgets. It's best I forget._

 _Sincerely, Rico Brzenska._

Rico stood up and closed her journal, tossing it into her brown canvas back, and swinging it over her shoulder. She laid her hand on her bed, feeling the wearing finish of the wood, especially the areas where she had given herself splinters dozens upon dozens of times. "So this is goodbye?" She heard a voice from behind her, it was Anka, Pixis's assistant.

"Ah, Anka." Rico smiled at her, shaking her hand, "Yeah, this is it." She hadn't spent every day here in the barracks, given that she had her own home, but sometimes when she would get done with work, she just didn't have the energy to trek all the way back to the comfort of her own walls. Not only was she often physically drained, but emotionally exhausted as well. She would gaze out from the top of wall Rose, watching titans in the distant, realising how futile all of their efforts were. She hated that feeling. Knowing no matter what she did, as an individual, that she couldn't make a true difference. "I'll miss it here but… I have to do this."

"I understand… Especially given the recent events in your life-"

"This has nothing to do with Zach, Anka." The smiled faded from her face, "I made this decision before he died. I never even got to tell him." She would be joining him soon, most likely, it was alright. She would get to see him again. Why was she thinking this way? Did she want to die? She certainly didn't want to end it herself… but if she died… She wouldn't mind. It would mean the pain would stop. She could finally stop worrying about the titans, about humanity, about her idiot friends… Ah, that would be nice. She could rest too!

Anka nodded, looking around the bare room, "I understand. Though we'll miss you here. If it's too crazy for you, you're always welcome back here, Rico!" She patted the shorter woman's back, trying to get her to smile again. Rico had been even more sullen than usual as of late. "I hear they're crazy over there. Make sure you come back in one piece. One living piece, that is."

Rico nodded at her, "You keep the walls safe without me." This room used to be filled with her squad. She was leaving them behind here too. Her memories of them. She had to, that's how she had to survive. If she let the past weigh her down, she wouldn't even be able to walk. She was a bird whose wings had been bound for too long, hopefully she would still remember how to fly, if not, the only way she could go was down, and fall to the ground. "Make sure Pixis doesn't drink too much."

"As if. I take away one flask, and he has another." She led Rico out the door and through the halls, "Though I will do my best."

* * *

"Welcome!" A tall blue eyed blonde cheered as Rico entered her assigned room, "My name is Sophia Holst, and I'm your squad leader!" She danced around the room, Rico couldn't help but notice just how cheery she was. "I know you're a well decorated soldier, and have tons of experience in the Garrison, but we scouts like to do things a bit differently. We're very closely knit, everyone knows everyone!"

She thought she was going to throw up if this woman continued, "Ah, well… Thanks for the advice." Had she really given her any advice? No matter. She set her belongings on the empty bed, and began to set her stuff up. Sure, most of her stuff was still in the apartment, but she would be moving out of that soon. There were too many memories. "My name is Rico Brzenska. I'm also not very… Talkative. So please don't take it personally."

"It's no problem, Rico! To each their own!" God. So. Cheery. How could this woman be so happy after seeing so much death? "Your drawers are right over there." She said as she pointed to what was seemingly a very large nightstand.

"Ah, Rico, it's good to see that you're already settling in." Commander Smith said, standing in the doorway. She knew exactly where to go, how prepared of her. Half of her squad would be in this room, except the men, who were in the next room over. Sophia tried to salute him, but he waved her down with a smile. It wasn't often that he came down here, so it was probably a surprise for the squad leader. "I just wanted to check on you, make sure everything's alright." Rico was skeptic, he could see it on her face.

She looked to him, putting a hand on her hip. Something was rubbing her the wrong way. "Thank you Commander, but please, I'm doing just fine. I don't need daddy watching over me and walking me all the way to my classroom on the first day of school." Sophia looked to Rico in shock for being so informal, wondering if the two were already friends.

 _Daddy?_ "Sorry, I can't help it." He nodded slowly. Had he done something wrong? Surely not, she was just still in mouring. Perhaps leaving the garrison just happened too quickly. "Please let me know if you need anything though…"

She poked his chest, guiding him out the door, "What I _need_ is to not be receiving special treatment. The last thing I need my new squad thinking is that I'm some sort of baby that needs to be protected." She looked up at him, meeting his stupid grin. Why was he smiling like that? It was freaking her out. "Erwin?"

"Yes, Rico?" He kept the same smile on his face, seeing how puzzled she was.

"What are you so happy about?" She poked his cheeks, and Sophia looked like she was going to pass out. They were standing so close! "Are you sick?" She reached up to his forehead, he was blushing too! "You don't have a fever… You should see a doctor. Something's not right."

 _I'm just happy to see you, and it's killing me._ "Ah, really?" He feigned ignorance, reaching up to his own forehead as well, "Well thank you for your concern, Rico, but I don't need to be getting any special treatment. The last thing I need is for everyone to think their commander someone to be babied and protected." He threw her own words back at her, and she pouted. Whenever she pouted like this, she always had this look of frustration in her eyes, and a slight purse of her lips. He just couldn't take his eyes off of her, and it made him feel weak, like he needed her to give him permission to even breathe.

"Fine." She said, turning off and getting back to what she had been working on.

"Oh, and Rico?" He said playfully, "You missed a button."

She raised an eyebrow not believing him. She didn't look down at her shirt until he left, and found that she did indeed miss a button. "You've got to be shitting me." A grown woman who couldn't even dress herself properly? Pathetic.

"Do you two um… Are you…?" Sophia asked. She had certainly sensed some tension there. Or was that just in her head? While she didn't know the commander well, She certainly knew men well. Most of her squadmates were men.

"Us? Oh no." She shook her head with a small laugh, "We're just old friends." It wasn't long before she finished setting up everything that she would need, she was a light traveler. So she slid her bag under the bed. "So, why don't you tell me about the rest of the squad?"

"Well, There's you, me, June, Fredrick, Weiss, and Adam. June is really sweet, she cares so much about other people. Fredrick is a flirt with good intentions, and Weiss is his best friend, he's very brave and strong willed. Adam is super duper shy, though he's adorable and sweet once you get to know him!" She leaned over to look at Rico's face, "They're all super talented, so I'm sure you'll fit right in-"

"Ayy she's cute!" A voice said from the doorway, "Hey, I'm Fredrick."

"Brzenska." Rico said, not even looking up at him. This wasn't right. This wasn't her squad. It felt wrong. Though she would just have to get used to them, right? "Rico, I mean. Rico Brzenska."

One of the other men whispered something that Rico couldn't make out, she would assume that that was adam. He was short and scrawny compared to Frederick. Weiss popped his blonde head in, "Nice to meet you-"

"Let. Me. Through. Please." A squeaky feminine voice chirped up, and she pushed her way through, "Eyyo! I'm June!"

 _Adorable!_ Rico smiled, seeing the short redhead. She didn't even know people could be that short! "Rico." She repeated again. She just wanted to hug the little creature, but her sense of professionality dictated otherwise.

"She's gay." Weiss said, seeing her reaction.

"Totally." replied Frederick, "It's always the cute ones."

Adam whispered something else, and no one really seemed to notice. Except for Levi, who called them all brats as he pushed them out of the way, "Quit gawking and go clean something." He looked up when he saw Rico, handing her a stack of papers, "Read through these, give them back to Erwin by the end of the day." There had to be at least a hundred there! "A lot of them have to be signed and filled out. Stuff like where you want your body sent if you die, who you would like to give your possessions to, if you have any next of kin, etcetera." He looked back to the males, giving them a threatening glare, and they scattered, except for Adam, who was trying to say something but couldn't quite be heard. "Speak up. I can't lip read."

Adam mouthed some more words, and Levi made his 'tch' sound. Adam headed off, looking defeated, and Rico couldn't help but find that strange, "Is he really a soldier?"

Levi nodded, "A good one, but a damn mute. Even Shadis couldn't get him to talk." It was a concern, though scouts didn't need to talk much, communication was done through flares when outside the walls for the most part, "I've seen him bring down a good number of titans though." The only reason he hasn't been promoted was because of his inability to talk. Though it definitely seemed like he had something to tell him, he couldn't help but wonder what. Perhaps he would track him down and make him talk.

"Alright…" Rico responded, "Thank you captain. Please tell the commander he doesn't need to send you to spy on me."

"Spying implies that I'm being covert." He scoffed, folding his arms, "I'm not." He started to head out, putting his hand on the door frame, checking it for dust, "Sophia, have someone clean this. It's disgusting." Sophia nodded, going to clean it herself, and Levi headed off.

* * *

Before dinner that evening, Rico sought out Erwin's office. She had trouble finding it at first, this place was organised differently than the Garrison, but she came upon it eventually. She knocked on the door, and was almost immediately given permission to enter. "I have the papers you sent me." She said as she entered, and set them on the desk. He looked them over briefly, putting on his reading glasses. She didn't even know he wore glasses, "You know, they say the eyes are the first thing to go."

"Don't even joke." He smiled, getting up to put them in a filing cabinet. "Your squad treating you well?"

"Yes, Commander."

He turned to face her. His eyes were soft and concerned. Why was that bothering her so much? "Please stop calling me commander, Rico. My friends don't call me commander."

She sighed, he was guilt tripping her, "You've been acting strangely all day." She folded her arms, stepping towards him, "You want to tell me what that's about?"

He looked away, knowing that she was going to keep pressing the issue if he didn't respond. "I'm worried about you, that's all. You're life has changed entirely from one week to the next, that would be a lot for any person to handle." He froze when she suddenly hugged him, she had changed her mind so quickly…?

"Thank you… Erwin… But please don't express that in front of anyone else." She looked up at him, and he wrapped his arms around her as well, "They think we're lovers."

"That's nonsense, we're just friends." He sighed, feeling a pain in his chest. _It's happening again… I'm falling for her all over again._

"I know, but when you come looking after me like a lost puppy, that's how it looks." She tapped the tip of his nose, "Can you do me a favor?" She wanted to dig up some dirt on her new squad mates, one in particular. "I need you to look into Adam's background, the one on my squad, a detailed investigation."

He nodded, letting her go, and going over to another cabinet, "Is your gut telling you something?"

She nodded, going over to see what he was looking for, "Yeah, something's off about him. More than him just being really shy. He behaved even more strangely when Levi came around, though Levi acted like his usual self." She had good instincts when it came to this sort of thing.

"He was skipped over for the promotion to squad leader. But before he was, we did a background check to see if he qualified. This is everything we came up with, see if you can find anything we didn't." He passed her a file, "Don't let the others see it, you can use my office to read it over if you have to." He shut the cabinet, looking towards the window, eyes narrowing. He went to take a step forward, but he had forgotten that he had left the bottom drawer of the cabinet open, and tripped on it. He took Rico with him as he fell, pinning her to the ground, his face landing barely an inch above hers.

She stared at him, startled. Her papers had flown everywhere. "Hi." She said with a small, nervous laugh.

"Hi." Erwin responded, trying to read her eyes. He could feel her breath on his face. Her tone was airy and nervous.

"Well… do something." She laughed again, her heart racing. Everything was so confusing, her head was spinning. One minute they were talking, and the next minute they were on the floor for what was beginning to feel like eternity. Like a moment frozen in time. She knew this feeling. It was so familiar, so tangible. "Kiss me." She whispered, and without a moment's hesitation, Erwin's lips met hers.

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **Thank you for reading! I would very much love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, and this story!**

 **So please leave a review, and I will see you next chapter!**


	4. Shh!

**CAUTION**

 **This chapter contains numerous sexual references!**

 **(Though nothing explicit!)**

 **It's all for comedy!**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **Chapter Four:**

 **Shh!**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

Hanji and Levi were walking down the halls in the middle of dinner. The new recruits were being way too loud, and Adam kept staring at Levi. It was starting to creep him out. Whenever he approached the brat to ask him what the hell was wrong with him, he pulled away even more and refused to talk. Even the traditional 'Ackerman collar-grab' didn't do the trick. Hanji thought he was being just a tad too aggressive about it, so she decided to bring him out. Plus, she knew exactly what the young man's issue was.

Levi stopped in front of Erwin's door, his eyes went wide. "Hanji…" he whispered, and she turned to him, "Do you hear that?"

She stopped for a second, and tilted her head, "Oh my god." She blushed, putting her ear on the door, "Who is he with…?" That was definitely Erwin's voice. "He's so vocal." She couldn't help but giggle, "Cute."

Levi raised an eyebrow, unaware that she found that attractive. He put his ear on the door was well, being sure to be quiet, "Rico." He said to her, knowing the other voice, it had to be her. Erwin had been very tense when ever her name was even brought up, he definitely had the hots for her. "Damn, way to go Commander Eyebrows."

 _Commander Eyebrows?_

 _I've got to ask him for some tips, this is ridiculous._

Hanji put her hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter when the noise on the other side of the room escalated. "Levi." She said when she heard the sounds from the mess hall, they were about to finish eating, then people would be rushing down this hallway, and everyone would know the Rico and Erwin's dirty little secret.

He nodded, understanding her message, "We can't let people hear this. They'll die of embarrassment."

"How do you suggest we do that?" She looked nervous, she wasn't very good at keeping a straight face when she was lying, she laughed too much. So if she couldn't lie to everyone else, and tell them that they needed to go some other way for some unknown reason, what could they possibly do?

"We make more noise than they are." He winked at her, and Hanji thought she would faint, "It doesn't have to be real, we just need to make a fuss in the broom closet. A loud fuss. People will be too preoccupied with what's going on in there to notice what's going on in here." Hanji didn't look too sure, and he didn't blame her. But he would rather deal with the social consequences than have Erwin and Rico go through it. "Come on, we have to, for them." It wasn't like they weren't going to go to the same thing in his office, but much quieter.

"I'm not loud, Levi… It'll just feel weird." She blushed, looking away, "Though it's for Erwin and Rico… So on one condition."

"And that is?"

"We get _dirty._ " She smirked, and Levi went pale, this was going to be one hell of a night. Ah Erwin, if only you knew what your subordinate did for you.

 **[insert line here]**

Mike and Nanaba were among the first to leave the mess hall, laughing and carrying on about the latest fight between Yeager and Kirschstein. "Did you see the look on Armin's face?-" Mike stopped in his tracks, sniffing the air. "That smells like-"

"OH LEVI~"

"Shut your whore mouth you dirty slut!"

"Clean me. With your tongue."

"Tch. Disgusting."

Nanaba scoffed, covering her mouth with her hands, "Oh my god. Go. Go. I'm going to need to bleach my ears. Couldn't they… find a room? With steel walls?" What the actual hell. She could have sword two full grown adults would know better! This wasn't some teenage hookup!

"I…" Mike was left speechless as Nanaba pushed him through the halls.

Armin's jaw fell to the ground when he heard the sounds from the closet, and he quickly covered his ears. Jean laughed, "See Yeager? That's something you can't get." He patted Eren's shoulder, "You're just not skilled enough."

"Oh? Do you have anyone to confirm this?" Eren narrowed his eyes at the taller man, and Mikasa was pulling at Eren's sleeve, trying to get him to get a move on. She didn't need him losing his innocence to their superiors'... excitement. They sure were vulgar!

Armin heard something curious, "Hey Jean?" If he was so experienced, perhaps he would know the answer! "What does 'blow me' mean?" He asked, blue eyes glimmering with a sense of cautious curiosity, "There aren't any balloons in there, so what could they be blowing?"

Jean laughed, throwing his arm behind his head. Mikasa quickly dragged Eren out of there, this was getting too much for her ears too! "Well… I could show you, if you want." Surely Armin knew what something as simple as that meant, right?

"Really? You're the best!" He couldn't wait to find out what it meant!

 **[insert line here]**

Erwin and Rico left his office, both equally exhausted. Rico could have sworn she was seeing stars, "So… Um…" She was about to ask him something important, but it kept slipping her mind. "Eh?" Her head turned towards the broom closet, a blush creeping up her face. Nothing was being left to the imagination by those two.

Sure, Erwin couldn't blame them for their actions that would make him a hypocrite, however, he could ask them to quiet down or atlast find someplace more secluded. "For fuck's sake…" He heard them laughing, which piqued his interest. What could they possibly be laughing about. "Levi! Hanji!" He knocked on the door, and the two came tumbling out, both red at the cheeks from their giggle fits, "What is going on?"

"Just saving your ass, Erwin." Levi said, with a huge grin on his face. They were both fully dressed, for the most part, Levi's cravat was crooked and Hanji's hair was a mess. They both had numerous love marks and hickeys on their necks and jawline. "Everyone was too distracted by us to notice you."

Rico's face lit up like a christmas tree, "You said the walls were thick!"

"They are." Hanji said, chuckling, "Normally you can't hear a thing, right Levi?"

"Oh?" Erwin asked, and Levi shuffled on his feet. "I could scold you for… doing it in my office. But I'll let it go… Thanks." He patted Levi's back, before bursting out in laughter. How he would have loved to see the expressions on everyone's faces! "They're not gonna look at your straight for a week. Neither of you."

Hanji shrugged, "Well… It was still pretty funny." Rico obviously felt extremely embarrassed, she would have to get used to these… eccentricities.

"Levi's pants disagree." Erwin continued to laugh, "Getting tight in there?"

"Thanks, Erwin. Real nice." Levi patted his back, and shook Rico's hand. "I'm going to go get a cold shower. Next time, play a record or something so I don't have to do this again."

"Got it." Erwin chuckled some more. He just couldn't keep a straight face! Ah, he truly did have the best friends in the whole world.

 **[insert line here]**

A full week later, Rico had gotten used to the schedule of the scouts. It was just slightly different than that of the garrison. Mornings were earlier, and dinner was later, and there weren't bar times. Sophia snored quite a bit, though not nearly as much as her drunken squad had. June also sang lullabies in her sleep, which was quite interesting, and often drowned out Sophia's snores.

Frederick and Weiss reminded her of the Garrison. They hit on everything female. They got rejected a lot, though they seemed to make a sport out of it. Adam well… stayed Adam, He did say 'hello' to her once. Which was probably a step forward.

She once again caught him looking at Levi. He was trying to read, but the Captain was cleaning a window in the distance, and Adam kept looking up at him. Rico slid beside him, "You could just tell him." She had read it in his file. Adam was raised by a single father, who beat the soul out of him. He was bullied as a child by his peers, and the torment only continued into his trainee days. Come to think of it, she had never seen him interacting with any of his class, the 101st trainee corps.

Adam shook his head, bringing his knees, and the book, closer to him. So she knew his secret?

"You really got a bad straw." It was because he was small, easy to take advantage of, and because he was gay. "A few more years… And I don't think those things would have happened to you." Perhaps that was why he joined the scouts, on some sort of suicide mission.

"You're wrong." He said, closing the book. He just wanted to change. He wanted to be normal. "People are cruel. They will find any reason to pick out someone who is different, and someone who is weak."

Her eyes widened, that was the most she had every heard him saying in a single sentence. "It doesn't help that you're cute. They were probably jealous too." She reached up to touch his black hair, and he flinched away, afraid of being touched, "Just tell him, what's the worst that could happen?"

"He has a girlfriend." Hanji Zoe. Well… He thought they were an item. Perhaps an official one. "And he could kick the crap out of me."

She nodded, "True. But it's still nice to say these things while you can, even if they're not reciprocated." She put a hand on his shoulder, "Just do it."

Adam looked like he was considering it, before he passed her the book. She was a strange woman. She had figured him out, and he had only said a single word to her. He sighed, passing the book to her, "Why?" Why was she trying to befriend him, to help him grow?

"Because I know what it's like to be broken, and the measures it takes the recover. To anyone else, the measures would seem insane, juvenile, strange… Rushed... But there's only one way to fix glass. You could glue it together, but it wouldn't be quite the same, the edges would be jagged, and there would be lines of glue marring the piece, taking away it's beauty…. Or… You could throw it back into the furnace and start all over, and build something that you couldn't before, using everything you learned." She watched him stand up, taking her words to heart, "But once you're inside the furnace, it's natural that you take a little heat."

"Are you a poet?" He asked, taking her hand to help her up.

"Sometimes. Not really though." She smiled, looking to the book. It was full of poetry.

"You remind me of one." He smiled, tucking his hair behind his ear. "There's beauty to your soul." He had the most beautiful smile, he probably hadn't smiled in years! It looked so fresh, so new, so pure… "Thanks." He took a few steps away, approaching the man at the window.

Levi looked up at the sound of his footsteps approaching. Something was different. What was it? "Can I help you?" He asked, the man was coming towards him with a sense of purpose. How strange.

He shook his head, "Just thought you should know how attractive I think you are."

Levi looked shocked, the man had just spoke? Was this really Adam, or someone disguised as him? "Um… Thanks." He felt awkward. Adam suddenly acting differently was… Shocking. "You… Keep up the good work."

"Thank you, sir." Adam spun off on his heels, shoulders carried high. Wow, he felt great! "Hey Rico? Try not to die on this expedition." He patted her back as he passed. He had been watching her train. She was good, but too linear in her thinking. She wasn't impulsive enough, she didn't adapt well enough. "You're too good of a person to die out there."

"You too, Adam." She smiled, without turning to face him. Weren't they all too good of people to die outside the walls? Did any of them really deserve it? There was a reason that no one from the survey corps ever retired. They all died before they could.

It was only a fortnight before they set off. Most were using that time to train, spend time with their families, relax, and to anything to keep their minds off of the friends that they were going to lose as soon as they stepped outside the gate. Her squad would be in the right flank, towards the middle. The 57th expedition beyond the walls… It would be a privilege to take a part in it. Come to think of it, Erwin had said that he wanted to see her. So she headed towards his office, wondering what it could be about.

His office door was open, so after tapping on the doorframe, she walked right in, closing the door behind her. "Commander?" He looked up from his papers, smiling at the sound of her voice. "Hey." She smiled too, putting her hands on the desk, "What's up? You needed to see me?"

He nodded, passing her a chart with the formation on it, one that she had seen a dozen times today alone. "I want you with squad Levi for the expedition, start training with them immediately, get to know them. As well as Eren. They won't be your permanent squad, but I have a good feeling that they'll need you there."

She raised an eyebrow before smirking, "Or a feeling that I'll be safer there-"

"Rico, this is an order." He said without skipping a beat. He got up to stand closer to her, "Please… Trust me. I can't say more than that… I just need you to have faith in that your presence there will be very important." _And the differences as to whether or not we capture her. We will do it. We will. We have to._ "You're smart, brilliant… Levi can use that. Just make sure everything is going to plan. And no matter what… Obey his orders." _Don't be too rash, Rico. Don't engage her and die. She'll kill you._ He kissed her forehead and played with her hair for a moment, before pulling her into an embrace.

"Alright Erwin… As you command." He had never issued her an order before. This was obviously something important, and something out of their personal lives. She cupped his hand to her face, "I'll join squad Levi for the 57th expedition."


	5. The Rabbit

**Chapter Five:  
The Rabbit**

 **.**

 **.**

 **.**

"Ohmygoodness!" Petra cheered, hair flicking around as she danced in a small circle, "Welcome aboard!" She hugged Rico, before clearing her throat, as Olou was looking at her cross. "Sorry, a little too excited?"

Rico shook her head, taking a look around. "No, you're good." How could Petra be so excited over something pertaining to leaving the walls? She could see Eren talking to the captain over by a table, the grass swaying beneath them. Levi hadn't looked at her all morning, it was strange. She had thought that they were on good terms, but apparently not.

"You look nice today, like you're glowing." Petra said, following Rico's gaze, "Ah, don't worry about it. That's just how he is. He probably feels like Erwin stepped on his toes too. But you two are friends, so it will probably only last an hour or so." She shifted to look towards Erd, Gunther, and Olou who were laughing about something that happened the previous night. "How goes everything? You like your squad?"

"I do, a lot actually." She said, they were all strange and unique, yet everyone here was, and it all just seemed to blend together to form one force struggling desperately to save all that they held dear. "They're all… Quite nice." They were not a replacement for her old squad, she would always hold them close to her heart… But they were just enough to help her heal.

Petra smiled, poking Rico's stomach, ducking off, "Come on!" She smiled in such a sweet way, one that one wouldn't expect from a woman who encountered death so frequently. Petra was so kind, perhaps if Rico had never joined the military… She would have ended up a lot like her. Rico couldn't help but laugh when she nearly knocked Olou over to make room for the two of them.

If Rico was honest with herself, she wasn't feeling well. Maybe it was that fish that she and Erwin had had last night, but she felt like she was going to blow chunks all over her temporary teammates. She settled in the bench, on the edge, next to Petra. "Yo." She said, feeling their stares. Oh no, was she turning green?

That was when Olou whispered, "So what's Erwin like… you know…" And Rico's face lit up like a candle stick. Petra started chuckling as well, and the other men were trying to hide the grins on their faces. They had all always been wondering, Erwin was so serious and focused on his job that it was hard to imagine him in any sort of romantic relationship, and what he did in his free time was left to rumour and one's own imagination.

"I…" Rico managed to speak, wanting to cover her face with her hands. "I don't see the logic in answering that question." She felt like she was going to pass out from embarrassment. Was that even possible? That being said, there was nothing that she could say that would be negative about the Commander… He was so sweet and sincere. But every time she thought of how wonderful things were going currently, she couldn't help but wonder why it couldn't have been like this in their past. It certainly would have saved them both a lot of pain. Even if they had never become involved romantically, having him there as a friend would have made many things in her life much easier.

"Because your teammates are curious." Gunter said, "Though you don't have to." _Is she… alright?_ "Rico, maybe you should go see the doctor… Or Hanji. You're not looking too good."

Well that was the exact opposite of what Petra had told her a few seconds ago! "Just bad fish." She said, still uncomfortable. _Levi… please call us to train or something. I'm dying._ They were all staring at her!

"Oi!" Levi called just then to save the day, beside Eren, who was holding some sort of gardening tool. So that was what they had been talking about! Maybe Eren couldn't garden properly. "Were making a run. Eren fell of his damn horse this morning, and we can't have that outside the walls." He looked to Eren, with both pity and scorn in his eyes. How could this brat save humanity if he couldn't ride a damn horse? "Rico, if you're going to hurl, hurl. Don't be a bi-" He was met with the woman's nod, and a fresh patch of vomit on the ground, "Oh."

* * *

Rico sat in Hanji's desk chair as the taller woman paced, "So, can you pee yet?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips and Rico shook her head. "Ugh, drink more water. How is this possible? Erwin isn't the type to slip up like this."

Rico nodded, she and Erwin had always been safe. "It's possible that there could have been a small tear… Or…" She thought back to the first night in her apartment, how they had woken up without clothes, "We were drunk." She sighed, leaning against the wall, "Fuck." She couldn't tell him now, even if they were certain, he had too much on his mind. For once in her life, she would have to wait. How hypocritical of her. "Do you really have to kill the rabbit?"

Hanji nodded, looking to the little creature. "Yup. We inject it with your urine, then after three days, kill it. Then I take a look at its reproductive organs." She pet the rabbit lovingly, "The price of knowledge has always been life, especially when it comes to humans. If we want to know how we work… There are sacrifices to be made." She lifted her glasses off of her face, rubbing at her temples. She needed a new prescription, this one was started to give her terrible headaches when she wore them for too long.

Rico nodded again, pulling her knees to her chest, "Well, my career is over." She sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. "My parents are going to kill me. It's only been a few months since Zach… passed." Was there a possibility that the child could be Zach's? It was hard to imagine… but it could certainly be possible. How would Erwin react? Would he be alright with that? Surely he wouldn't cut ties with her, he wasn't that sort of person. "I'm scared." She admitted, looking up to Hanji. "This is fucked up." There was too much going on for this to be happening.

Hanji sat beside her, rubbing her back, "You're going to be alright. You're with Levi, he'll protect you no matter what. Especially with a little one in there." She smiled, wrapping her arm around Rico, who was starting to cry.

It was only a few minutes later that Rico spoke up, making Hanji laugh with a meek, "I _really_ have to pee."

* * *

Erwin looked up when Levi entered his office for a brief moment, before looking back to a stack of papers on his desk. "No knock?" He smiled, putting his head into one of his palms.

"Nope. Who knows what you're doing in here these days, I have to keep you on your toes." He said, leaning against the wall, "Though I knew you wouldn't be up to anything, considering Rico blew chunks all over my squad."

Erwin looked up, worried, "Is she alright? He almost stood up, but Levi motioned him down.

"Relax. Some bad fish won't kill her." _If she had bad fish… Why isn't Erwin sick too?_ "She's with Hanji now, getting a check up." Hanji wasn't a medical doctor, but Rico had insisted on going to see her. "Any idea what happened?"

Erwin shook his head, "No… it doesn't make sense. She didn't eat the fish, except from my plate… She had a soup. Her stomach was bothering her." He tilted his head, "She probably has a stomach bug… poor thing." He sighed, feeling bad for her. "I'm sure she'll be fine soon."

Levi nodded, feeling that Erwin was clearly missing something, "Yeah, I hope that's what it is." He said calmly. _I'll just have to make sure she lives through the expedition. She's capable, but morning sickness with 3DMG doesn't mix. Should I tell him? No… He would be too distracted. That could kill us all… Erwin, you idiot._ He spun off on his heels, "Call for me if you need me. I'll go make sure she's alright."

Erwin smiled, "Please do. Tell her I love her." He smiled, a couple of months ago, he would never have pictured words like that leaving his mouth. But alas, here he was, head over heels for her.

"How unlike you." Levi couldn't help but smile. Erwin was changing. He was getting emotionally involved with a woman he sincerely loved. "I will."

* * *

Hanji stared under a microscope while Rico sat patiently, swinging her legs beneath her, "Well…" She looked to her friend, "Congratulations?" Rico looked nervous, but happy. "Congrats!" Hanji said more certain upon seeing the future mother's smile. She hugged her, "If you need anything, I'm here for you."

Levi chirped up from the corner, being witness to the whole thing, it was just as he had suspected. "Don't worry, Rico." Though if she knew of Erwin's plan… She would probably be in full on panic mode. "Do you trust me?" He put a hand on her shoulder, and Hanji backed up, looking to Levi curiously.

Rico was a bit confused by the sudden question, "Yes, Levi, I trust you… What brings this on?"

 _You were on my suspect list… Rico. The timing of your transfer to the survey corps was just far too convenient. I'm sorry._ "You will follow my orders, to the death, if I believe it will save humanity?" He had every intention of getting her back alive… But he had to know.

She paused for a moment, hand resting on her stomach. "Yes, Levi." She watched as his hand slipped from her shoulder, "What's going on?" She suddenly felt sick, and looked to Hanji for any sign of worry as well. "You're freaking me out…"

Levi looked to his partner in crime, who took a few steps and locked the door, "Rico. Are you human?" He asked, and Hanji turned on some sort of noise machine and shut the curtains, making the room grow dark until she lit a few candles.

"Are you drunk? Do I look like… a titan to you?" She screamed when Levi drew a knife, and put a hand over her mouth.

"Are you? Be quiet." Could titans even reproduce? Well, they didn't know how they did yet. But it seemed to Levi that since there were always more, they had to be coming from somewhere.

"Levi." Hanji said scoldingly, putting a hand on her hips, pulling him off of her, "Rico, I'm sorry, we're all a little tense with the expedition coming up…" She glared at Levi, "Go get some sleep. Now. We know what we have to." He gave his usual Tch, and headed out the door. Of course, this was all for show, not that Rico would ever know that. "I'm sorry… Rico. I want to tell you the truth, but you can't tell Erwin. Levi and I were sworn to secrecy."

Rico nodded, "Of course…" Was Erwin not telling her the truth? She still had chills from humanity's strongest threatening her.

Levi was hiding in the darkness of the room, ready to pounce if Rico made any move to threaten Hanji. Erwin would kill them both if he knew about this, of course, Rico was on his suspect list too, even though he would rather her not be there. Hanji took Rico's hands into hers, if she was like Eren, self mutilation would keep her from transforming. "Rico, we're going out there to capture a titan. A very specific titan."

Rico nodded, taking comfort in Hanji's actions, "I don't understand, why a specific titan? And why hasn't Erwin announced this?"

"Do you remember Levi's question? This titan… Is living amongst us humans." Rico nodded again, remembering Eren, how he didn't know that he was a titan shifter. Perhaps there was someone who was completely aware of their power, and choosing to stay hidden. "That person is working against humanity. We don't know who, or how, but…" She felt her heart tear, was she making a mistake by trusting Rico? She had been a soldier for longer than Erwin's cut off… Making her risk smaller than some of the others on the list… "They're going to come after Eren on the next expedition. When they do… We will intercept and capture the It's a pivotal part of the operation… But you will be relatively safe." Hanji pulled her hands away, "Well, as safe as any of us could be outside the walls, anyway."

Rico nodded again, paler than usual. "Someone within the walls… Working against humanity?... That's… That's crazy."

* * *

Crazy. It was all crazy.

"Those years ago? The day I stopped inviting you over? That particular Sunday… It was because I woke up… And without any hesitation in my heart, I knew I was in love with you." Erwin paused, resting his hands on the back of his chair, His feet wanting to dance beneath him, resisting the urge to pace around the room. He had the courage to look her in the eyes, "Rico. I love you. I have since that morning. I've just always been so terrified of hurting you."

Rico felt tears come to her eyes, leaning over his desk to wrap her arms around his shoulders, knocking over a few pens in the process. He picked her up so she wouldn't be uncomfortable, and sat down in his chair with her nestled in his lap. This conversation had come on so suddenly. Hanji had fallen sick, with a simple cold, but as such he didn't have someone to bounce ideas off of like he normally did. As such, he called in Rico. And then suddenly, he just spilled.

"You idiot." Rico whispered, looking up at him, her blue eyes catching the light of the setting sun in the most fascinating of ways, "You were like a brother to me… The situation at the time… We were too young." He had been her wise, older mentor. "But… Here we are." She stirred, kissing his cheek. "Goodnight."

He smiled, hugging her a little closer, draping his jacket over her while he got in the best position to work in, while still keeping her comfortable. Every now and then he would look down at her face, seeing the small smile she wore whenever she was sleeping, as if she were having a pleasant conversation in her dream.

Eventually he too fell asleep, pen still in hand, his head resting on hers, being pulled into a familiar dream. A dream he had always had, though he had never quite told anyone about it. A dream where he finally told the woman he loved how he felt, and they set off to start a family together.

What a nice dream.


End file.
